


As long as I'm alive, Lafayette, swear to God you'll never feel so,,,

by erinlightwoodbane



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, Hercules is bad at feelings, Illness?, Nonbinary Lafayette, Other, Pregnancy?, abortion???, an organized mess, gayyyyy, idk we'll just have to cross those bridges when we get to them, its 2 am kill me, protect Lafayette, use protection kids, you know as much as i do
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-15
Updated: 2016-08-15
Packaged: 2018-08-09 00:55:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7780591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/erinlightwoodbane/pseuds/erinlightwoodbane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They laughed harshly, blinking away tears as they looked at Hercules, “It’s okay,” their voice sounded cold even to their own ears, “I’ve done worse,”<br/>That was cruel- they knew that, Hercules probably didn’t deserve that, or maybe he  did, who knows, but they couldn’t bring themselves to care as they opened up his bedroom door, not sparing him a backwards glance as they walked from the room.</p>
            </blockquote>





	As long as I'm alive, Lafayette, swear to God you'll never feel so,,,

**Author's Note:**

> This is something I've been thinking about for a while so I really hope you'll enjoy it, please let me know if you do because I'm in need of constant attention and validation so leave me a comment!  
> Come chat with me on tumblr!~ @Lafayetteandtheirrevolutionaires

Lafayette wakes up on the morning of the fourteenth in a bed which isn’t their own, with their head pounding and their throat dry. It’s not the first time it’s happened and they doubt it will be the last, but holy shit was drinking a bad idea.

Like any other hangover, the alcohol from the night before provides their mind with the kind or soreness and heaviness that they know won’t fade until much later, or at least until they get a hold of some advil. Still, it’s distracting enough that they don’t even think to check and worry about the consequences of who it is they’ve slept with, as their mind is more drawn towards the strong arm wrapped around their narrow shoulders, strong and strangely familiar.

They blink sleepily, wincing at the bright light which seeps through the open bedroom window, pressing their arm over their eyes to block out the sudden onslaught of sun. Groaning, they open their eyes once more, attempting to readjust to the unexpected light which goes straight to their already painful headache. 

As memories from the previous night begin to return, they find themselves freezing at one particular revelation before sitting up sharply and wincing at the pain the quick movement brings, the arms around them dropping as they stare at the wall in a kind of stunned horror. 

The sex had been fantastic, yes, but they know for a fact that they hadn’t used protection, nor had the guy they had been with been using it either, and now they are left with the realization that they very well could be pregnant. They’d always been careful about it in the past, but they hadn’t even went out last night so how the hell did they even end up having sex? 

It had only been them, John and Alex and Hercules in the apartment, John and Alex were in a perfectly happy, monogamous relationship together and had definitely retired to one of the guest bedrooms in Hercules’s apartment to do a lot more than talk and... they swore loudly.

And sure enough, when they turned their head they were met with a very naked Hercules who was only now starting to wake up, grumbling under in his breath as he did so. Okay, so they had to think about this logically, even if they did have unprotected sex with Hercules there was still like a 15% chance that they wouldn’t end up pregnant. That wasn’t reassuring in the least but they schooled their panic into one of careful fondness, watching quietly as their best friend turned to groan into his pillow before going completely still, apparently aware of the warm weight by his side.

They found themselves tensing too when he remained motionless, one worry replaced by the other, completely terrified of what Herc would say to them when he finally moved. They didn’t have to worry for much longer, anyhow, as Hercules abruptly sat up straight, blinking a few times before his eyes focused on Lafayette and the confusion in his eyes was exchanged for an emotion which could only be described by Lafayette as pure, unadulterated fear. 

They froze, feeling rather like a deer in streetlights or whatever that saying was, staring wideeyed before smiling softly at their best friend in an attempt to reassure him- of what they weren’t completely sure- and saying, “Morning, mon cher,”, voice quiet and with a heavier accent than usual.

When he didn’t reply, didn’t even blink, they frowned a little, “Herc?” they asked, anxiety building in their chest, rising up to their throat until it threatened to burst.

“Are you okay?” they questioned worriedly, reaching to put a hand on his shoulder before he flinched and they were left with their hand reaching out to him, frozen midair. 

He shook his head at them, letting out a breathless sigh of alarm, eyes wandering from the marks on their shoulders, pausing at their breasts where his gaze remained for a moment before continuing down to their toned stomach and the distinct finger print sized bruises on their hips. 

“I..I can’t,” He said, voice choked, “I can’t,” 

Only two words but they understood the implication well enough. 

They swallowed, anxiety replaced by an overwhelming emptiness and they had to clear their throat to get rid of the lump threatening to break them, ice filling their veins when they stood, pushing themselves up from the bed. Lafayette had never been someone who was uncomfortable with their body, was happy with their confidence but they wanted nothing but to curl up into themselves at that moment, something like shame settling in their stomach as they crossed the room to pick up their binder from where it had landed in a corner at some point, tugging it over their head and then reaching for their underwear. 

They laughed harshly, blinking away tears as they looked at Hercules, “It’s okay,” their voice sounded cold even to their own ears, “I’ve done worse,” 

That was cruel- they knew that, Hercules probably didn’t deserve that, or maybe he did, who knows, but they couldn’t bring themselves to care as they opened up his bedroom door, not sparing him a backwards glance as they walked from the room, looking more assured than they felt.

The door closed behind them and they felt strangely vunerable standing there only in their binder and underwear, bare feet cold against the tiled floors. That was stupid- Lafayette and John were over at Herc and Alex’s practically every day, hell, they spent nearly as much time in their apartment than they did in their own so they didn’t know why they felt so nervous now. 

But nervous wasn’t the right word to describe how they felt, they were hurt, hurt and angry and honestly they just kind of wanted to break down into tears, regardless of where they were. They probably would have, actually, if it weren’t for the bedroom door next to Hercules’ opening, John and Alex stumbling out, still entwined with each other. 

The pair didn’t seem to notice Lafayette standing there and when they blinked, tears slipped down their cheeks, throat closing up and all they knew was that they had to get out of there before they lost it.

They were halfway to the door when John and Alex pulled apart, smiling at each other in a way which made the tears fall just that little bit faster.

“Laf?” John questioned, sounding worried and they wiped at their eyes furiously, forcing a smile to their face.

John and Alex exchanged a look and then John had crossed the room over to them, wrapping his arms around them and it was if something inside them snapped because suddenly their knees buckled and they were crying into his chest; loud and ugly.

“Shh, baby, I got you,” He murmured into their hair, arms tightening around them protectively. He looked over their head to glance at Alex, blood boiling but managed to conceal that well enough to send his boyfriend a panicked look. 

Alex shrugged helplessly, shaking his head.

What the hell had just happened?


End file.
